Following on from yesterday.

  It's an important week for me. I have a full week of work and a good cheque at the end if I complete everything. So focusing on work this week is essential but seriously difficult for me. I find it all too easy to get side tracked.

  Which is why today's post is linked to yesterdays. Seeing yesterdays dancers from a different view point and realizing the obvious has made me think a little (a dangerous pursuit). 

  I've also done a couple of the questionnaires on the "Authentic Happiness" site. The results have been a little surprising. Things I thought I was  strong on I appear not to be and weaknesses are apparently the opposite!
  I need to see if I can gain a different view point of me! After a bit of a surf, hey presto, I found some interesting stuff. One guy had written a couple of hundred words on how he'ed found a way out of it. Then added a month later that it didn't work. I did laugh but fair play to him, he could have deleted it or just left it as it was and we'ed be none the wiser. Then I found this.

  "and if this is everything to me, then why the hell haven't I been doing more?" There is a perfectly good reason to avoid the thing that means everything to you - In fact, avoidance of the thing which has meaning and power for you is the most understandable and normal thing I can think of - You're avoiding the thing that's holding all your dreams? Good grief ! Of course you are ! That symbolic weight ? it's that much potential for hurt and disappointment. 

  BAMMMMM that got me. Pretty simple really and written by a nice 20 something with electric blue hair. Sometimes it's good to know why you do or don't do something and not what cures it. If I apply the above statement to a number of events over the last ten years it fits perfectly. Don't you just hate smart arsed 20 year old's. Still her hair is seriously dodgy so there is a God.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happyness :-)


   

Levels.

  Late this morning I set off for my date with a mate at the Tango. The mate happened to be the customer who whisked me to Brighton (Spanner goes to the Seaside 23rd Dec) I'm not sure of her motives but I'm rather keen on getting out at the moment so I don't care however if it puts your mind at rest, I'm a good girl who doesn't stay out late and won't be taken advantage of. Now lets get back to the story.

  I packed a book and iPod for the train journey and as the train pulled out of the station I had the iPod on and fired up and my book open at the right page. If only I'd remembered to get on the train it would of been the perfect start. I managed to get to the meeting point ahead of customer/mate. She arrived a few minutes later, maybe she forgot to get on two trains? We stopped for a coffee, which I think is now law. You cannot leave a station without a cardboard cup of froth in your hand.

  Once inside the SouthBank we found the venue and a couple of free seats, then a couple more, then a couple more and finally a couple more. If you're female and you read my blog. Can you please tell me what the chair hopping thing is all about? Because I can guarantee to anybody out there who cares to listen, that the first words your female guest will utter to you when the show gets under way is,

  "We should of stayed in those ones over there." 

  We ? like I had a choice !!!!!!!
  So as the band tune up, this very nice couple invite the masses down to the lower area of the foyer to learn the Tango basics. Within minutes there's at least a hundred and fifty people moving backwards four steps then one to the side. A mixture of people who can and people who can't all roughly going the same way. This was followed by a demonstration from a professional couple. Which I have to say was breathtaking.
  Customer/mate and I sneaked off to get something to eat then a short walk along the river up to the Globe Theatre and back.
  Once inside and again having done the mating chair dance thing and found almost the right place to sit. We watch the club dancers go through their paces. Now this is where it gets interesting for me. Customer/mate and I are on a slightly higher level than the dancers so we are looking down on them. As they glide by I notice that although they have the moves right, their faces are expressionless. All the effort has robbed them of the enjoyment of it. It's a bit like my life, trying to be better but not enjoying the journey. Which I must endeavour to do. Otherwise I'll arrive and it will be too late to enjoy it. Now I've mentioned living in the moment before but to see hundreds of people doing something they love but not loving it, just brought it home to me. So if you were travelling north on the Piccadilly line at around five o'clock and sat next to a middle aged man with a manic smile then we've met and I apologize if I scared your kids.

PS someone asked if that was a picture of Customer/mate and me. Sadly I have to say it isn't, I don't look that good in a dress.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happyness :-)

My Friday !

  Well I was back at Carmen Miranda's today. Even though she is sooooo old she flirts outrageously. God better keep his knees locked together when she pops her clogs, otherwise there'll be trouble. I told her I'm going to a Tango thing at the Southbank on Sunday and did they dance the Tango back in Col-lum-bee-ia?
"Hoe yesssss, day luv da Tango in Col-lum-bee-ia. It is I walking class dance, not for nice lay dees. It is very sexy dance."
  I do enjoy her company. She has good coffee but awful biscuits.
"I sooo sorry abbout der biscuits. My girls say, mummy don't buy nice biscuits cos we eat them and get fat. So I don't."
  From there a quick call in to a new customer in North London. No cold water in the bathroom. As it was a flat, the water tanks are on the roof. So through the hatch I went. five floors up and no barriers just a straight drop down to the street. Wonderful views though. As I suspected the ball valve was stuck, so once I'd moved it everything was fine. Carefully lowered myself back through the hatch and rejoined client who had made tea and had a little box of chocolate kit-kats as a reward ( please take note Carmen!). Turns out she makes bespoke furniture costing thousands. So the next twenty minutes was taken up with moans about difficult clients and headaches about what to charge. Then a look at pictures of her work and another kit-kat before we said our goodbyes and I headed further North in my rusting chariot.
  Overal it's been a good week. NASA have yet to reply to my email but I guess they have enough of their own gormless plumbers to deal with.

  Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happy :-)

Normal service will be resumed.

  I'm sorry you've had to endure my whining on about my tortured love life, these last two or three post. :-)
I shall now return to the irrelevant and all things stupid ..............
  I pointed you in the direction of the "Authentic Happiness" site the other day and I've been having a look myself and found an article about persistence. Now while I'm persistent in some areas of my life I'm not when it comes to work. So I thought time to do some reading. One thing that caught my eye was the following.
  "Begin using a time management aid of some sort (a palm pilot, a daily planner, etc). Find a system that works and actually use it."
   I've tried planners and pads to make notes on and they haven't been that successful. Now I need to think big. I want something that's got a pretty good record in time management and won't let me down. 
  So I'm going to email N.A.S.A. they're a little quiet at the moment, they have huge resources and they managed to get Tom Hanks back from the Moon. So getting a piss poor London Plumber back on his feet should be easy peasy to the ladies and gentlemen at Houston. 
  Can you imagine. You hear that loud bleep and a crew cut from across the pond says,

" OK Spanner time to connect the er waste pipe zzzz (static noise) zzzzzzz to the wall outlet. Copy."
" Yeah copy that Whoston. I'm just finishing me tea, be right with you."
" Right, err we have a critical time factor interface hear Spanner, so it you coul....."
"OK mate, I'm all yours."
  Wouldn't that be brilliant. They could also help with my website too.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happyness :-)

Things you have no control over, part 2.

Well the texts stopped but were replaced with emails and the one thing I've wanted for a long time, to have a shared and equal conversation happened. It became apparent as we chatted that although we both want the same thing (a loving supportive relationship) neither of us can for a variety of reasons give that to each other at the moment or for the foreseeable future. In the past my relationships have ended because one or other party  has had enough of the other and not because you can't love or be loved enough! Still as painful mind.

So I didn't get my way about no texts. I did get my way about sharing deep thoughts. I didn't get what I thought I wanted. I did get closure. I learned loads today. It was like being in an episode of the Waltons. I just didn't get the group hug towards the end and the chance to say goodnight to Gran-ma

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happyness :-)

Things you have no control of.

  Like MissG. If you read my last post, you'll remember she agreed to stop texting. Unless there was a life, death or plumbing emergency (which I'm lead to believe is almost the same thing). Well she managed to go fifteen hours. She texted me about a new book she's found on her Kindle "Authentic Happiness" by Seligman, here's a link   http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx It's an interesting site.
 So this time I rang her back and explained again why I needed the texting to stop and once again she said she missed my company and talking to me. Well I miss her company too but I'm not ready yet to move on to just a friendship. I am aware though that I'm 50 percent of this ex relationship and to be fair to someone I care about, I guess I have to allow her to work it through her way too but I would prefer the texts stopped and then I'd know it's finished.
  While on the subject of things you have no control of. I went to watch Fulham play Arsenal yesterday. Seeing as we were beaten 5 nil the last time I went it didn't look promising but that's part of the joy/pain thing with supporting Fulham. Well they won, scoring the winning goal in the last minute. Now while I know most of you rank sport next to going to the dentist. The whole thing of not giving in and fighting on, is pretty inspiring.
  There's plenty of the day left for me to go and do something useful and positive. Smile maniacally at complete strangers springs to mind and should throw up some more content for another post! Until then.

Onwards and upwards in pursuit of happyness :-)

Positive ends!

  So January 1st is almost over and Adele is on the BBC singing "make you feel my love," while I type. I didn't realise it was a  Bob Dylan song and it sets the tone for today's post.
  MissG's been texting me, over Christmas. Simple stuff, wishing me a Happy Christmas, what am I up to etc etc. It's left me confused though. she ended the relationship and I'm still getting over it, so each time the phone bleeps I'm checking who it is and either feeling some joy or some disappointment. I thought about what to do, ask her why see feels the need to keep sending texts or to bluntly say stop. I decided to let the holidays pass before doing anything.
   So another text arrived this afternoon and this time I asked her why she continued to send them. It's obvious she still feels something but it's not the same depth as my feelings for her. After several messages backwards and forwards (is that anyway to conduct a relationship anyway)  where she says she misses my company and is confused she's agreed to stop. I need the silence and I think it will be good for her too. I've moved on enough to know it was a really wonderful time. falling in love with someone and being really close was a fantastic experience and with a bit of time will only be remembered for that and not the angst that has followed. That, with time, will fade away to dust.  So a positive end of sorts.
  Today also saw me cooking, chicken breast with chorizo sausage and bubble and squeak cakes (potato and any vegetable leftovers, in this case parsnip, carrot, brussel sprouts and some onion). I've done this before but this was the best so far.
  Finally I did "man tidying" it's like normal tidying but the place still looks a mess afterwards. I've moved things around in my little space. So now the laptops easier to get to, I've found a new book to read "Starting over" by Tony Parsons and red left sock has been reunited with red right sock. So a happy ending to my day
 

  Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happyness :-)

Antny26's version of "make you feel my love" is the best I've found. Adele has a wonderful voice but you can feel this guys pain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOCTlB4IZ40&list=UU_zbZnoTb5MxDtrArIDSvAw&index=9&feature=plcp