Absolute Pants

   I haven't posted for a while. I've written a few pages but they've been absolute pants, so I hit the delete button. It seems as if I'm taking one step forward and two back lately. Which can't be the case, as my fingers wouldn't reach the keyboard and I wouldn't be typing and you reading this drival. So I guess, thinking about what's going wrong when I'm things seem shitty is a bad idea. One positive though. I keep plugging away. As per my hero CG.
   In other news. Those of you that read "In pursuit of happiness" will be happy to learn that Med's a dad again.
   Lastly, thanks Pixie for the smile. After a crappy day it cheered me up.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfillment and happyness :-)

(oh and before you ask, that's not a picture of me in the big pants)
    

Procratination (from the Latin postpone until tomorrow)

   If you have BBC iPlayer or you can download it (simple in the UK but not sure about anywhere else) have a listen to this  http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01m5hhw  It's a 30 minute piece about Procrastination. Or you could read Rowan Pelling's article, it doesn't cover as much as the programme but you'll get the idea. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2194011/Why-dithering-death-Shes-failed-tax-returns-years-collected-necklace-took-repaired-2003-Can-help-Britains-worst-procastinator.html

   Rowan Pelling is a journalist and broadcaster who isn't afraid to tackle a difficult subject with common sense and a small dose of humour to help its delivery.
   Life's tough enough without the added bonus of knowing as a procrastinator you actively set out to sabotage your own happiness and success. It becomes a way (no matter how maladaptive) of coping with the emotions that accompany depression. Short term it brings some relief but a bigger headache is just waiting around the corner.
   After I'd listened to the programme I switched on the laptop, went to Goggle and surfed away for a couple of hours. A very useful couple of hours it was too and it occurred to me, procrastination like many other words can end up as just a label. I don't know about you but I sometimes just stop at the label and forget there's someone behind it. Initially labels help us give someone an idea of what we are about but that can soon turn into an excuse. Procrastinator fits me well. I'd truly prefer something else even, Dictator, mass murderer, or at a push Chelsea fan but for the mean time between you and I, I'll live with it. While I find an effective way out of this mindset.

    *****  I have some more info on Procrastination. Go to the post "Self Counselling"  22/02/13 *****

   Going back to Labels. A friend of a friend is a veggie and came to dinner not so long ago. My friend said "don't worry about him, he's not fussy just get him one of those veggie ready meals." Now I'm not keen on different meals at the same table, it reminds me of family life and my ex being on another diet. It wasn't difficult to come up with something we could all share. During the meal Mr Veggie asked me how I'd cooked the dish as he'ed enjoyed it and would like to give it a try. So we got into a chat about food and I asked him what he normally ate, expecting to learn something new. I did but it wasn't what I'd expected. There I was, waiting to hear about his varied and interesting mix of vegetables. Instead he appeared to survive on Cheese Salads and nothing else. So you see I need to look past labels in others and not hide behind my own.

   I'm feeling really happy and confident at the moment. I'm still up to my neck in financial poo and the work front is looking really bleak too. I don't have a sure fire answer to my woes but I'm pretty sure I'm asking all the right questions at last and am beginning to understand how I got into this hole. So the journey continues.

Onwards and upwards in pursuit of fulfillment and happyness :-)

Carrying on.

   Are you all familiar with a BBC program called "Who do you think you are?" It delves into the family trees of Actors, sportsmen and who ever happens to be flavor of the month.
   This week it was a hound named Greg Wallace. He does a bit of TV, writes, has a restaurant but I digress. It's his Great-grandfather Henry Roland Springett who was the centre piece of this episode. The fella worked hard to provide for his family but bad luck and tragedy stuck to this bloke like poo to a blanket.
   So what do you do when things go wrong, seriously or otherwise? Well the simple answer is keep going. Make some changes to avoid future pitfalls but if things all around you and within you are going badly you're probably not the best person to be making decisions, simple or otherwise. So where to start. Well I guess it depends on the particular hole you're in and here's where the old me and the new me part company. Old me would of suggested answers based on what I was trying, hope or from what I'd read. New me is willing to admit I'm not so sure. I defiantly do know that what works or doesn't work for me won't necessary be the same for someone else.
   I've always thought that being honest with myself, would be my trump card. It would help me sort things out but as I suggested earlier if I'm in the middle of some wrong decisions then my thinking is probably not at its best. So currently I'm still in the same loop but I pick up a few new tools each lap and my times are improving and I'm still in the race.A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfillment and happyness :-)        

Did you know?

   This isn't my usual type of post but the Olympics has kind of got under my skin. So here's a blast from the past
   Before Tommie Smith and John Carlos made their human rights protest at the 68 Mexico Olympics they told Peter Norman ( the Australian silver medalist) of their plan. He supported their actions. Carlos said he thought he'ed see "fear" in Normans eyes but he said he didn't, he saw "love" Along with Smith and Carlos he also wore an "Olympic Project for Human Rights" badge, which he took from Paul Hoffman, another American athlete, on the walk out to the medal ceremony  .
   Although Norman didn't really play a part in the protest, he came in for a lot of grief when he got back home to Australia. He never ran again for his country despite running the qualifying times for the 72 Olympics. His silver medal winning time in the 200 metres of 20.06 is still being the best time ever run by an Australian over that distance to this day.
   Things didn't get much better for Peter Norman with time either. After a bad injury in 1985 he contracted gangrene. Depression, heavy drinking and pain killer addiction followed.
   The Australian organizing committee over looked Norman in playing any part in the Sydney Olympics of 2000. However when the Americans found out they invited him to be part of their event at Sydney.
   When he died from a heart attack at the age of 64 in 2006 the American track and field Federation. named the 9th October as "Peter Norman Day". Both Tommie Smith and John Carlos were pallbears at his funeral.
   Peter Norman didn't go looking for notoriety. He did however have a strong belief in God and in fairness for all. Unfortunately he seems to have paid a heavy price for not ignoring the plight of others. Hats off to you Peter Norman you were something really special.

   Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfillment and happyness :-)  

    

No moans! it's just not British.

   I haven't blogged for a while. Long hours at work and poor decision making have left me short on time and ideas about what to write and I no longer want to blog about things unless there's a positive slant somewhere in it.
   So lets move on to something positive. The run up to the 2012 Olympic games was very British. Moans about the cost, the Olympic highways ( certain roads closed to all except Olympic traffic) The cost. The legacy or lack of one. The cost. Oh and the mini uproar when a block of council flats found out their roof top was about to be used as a site for a missile launcher to shot down flying terrorists.
   Then came the opening ceremony. Which left us all a bit surprised. It's genuine attempt to include all sections of the community from the immigrants who came here in the 50's (and many settled in East London) to James Bond and the Queen. The moaning subsided and a timid "well that wasn't bad, was it" crept in. we wobbled abit when Cavendish didn't win the cycling road race and we had to wait a whole 5 days before the rowers Glover and Stanning won gold in the Ladies coxless pairs. Our first ever Ladies gold in any rowing event. Since then the medals, the graciousness of all those involved in the games and our (Brits) pride has started to roll in and on wards. As the games draw to a close TV and Radio has started to home in on the stories behind those with medals and those without. The sacrifices they and their families have made and other stories to do with the games past and present. So thank you to those involved. Ken Livingstone, Boris,  Seb Coe, Tessa Jowel all the way down to the 70,000 volunteers who have changed us miserable Brits into happy positive Brits, well for the moment anyway :-)

Onwards and upwards, in the pursuit of fulfillment and happyness :-)      

Dreams and jokes.

   I'm dreaming more. About what, I can't tell you. I wake up and remember the dream and think "um what does that mean" but something happenings between then and the morning visit to the bathroom and my mind blanks. Much like an evening spent listening to a comic. You come away with a sore face from laughing, thinking I must remember that but the comedy fairies come in the night and rub out the words but leave the smiles.
   So much for following my dreams, whether they were in colour, black and white or I was naked. I'm just happy to be dreaming again.
   Reality's not so bad. At least I can remember all of that. Well most of it, except the jokes.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfillment and happyness :-)

Just doing it.

   Well the plan started ok. I brought the ticket, unfortunately it didn't have all the right numbers. Which was a bit of an oversight on my part. The good news is I did win £2.50. So now there's plan B another ticket and 50p for sweets woohoo.

   I did (fingers crossed) manage to fix the van. I hate fixing the van. That was until today. I read somewhere about trying to find enjoyment in everything you do. So I fixed something most people wouldn't even attempt and while I was doing it thought back to when I was a kid. Watching my Dad fix his van and here I am fixing mine. So there lies the reason I hate fixing my van. I've come no further. I'm the same as my Dad, who to me was a failure. Harsh, I know but there's really too much history to go through to give you an insight into why I feel that way.

  Cue a little motivational speak "The only obstacle along the path to happyness is me." I've paraphrased something a guy called Les Brown wrote. As I've said before it's odd how life shows you something just when you need or are able understand it

   My Dad wasn't a failure. He tried really hard. If any ones a failure it's me because he gave me more than he ever had. So time to let that one go and take a look at this from another angle. My Dad gave me the ability to fix things and not give in. Thank you Dad, I had you all wrong. I'm sorry. 

   I'll keep you posted about plan B

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfillment and happyness :-)