The secret room.

So it's now the second day with no rain since ummm the last time it didn't rain which seems a long time ago.
The plan today is to finish stripping back the last of the old plaster and lath to the brick walls on the first floor and bag it all up. They'll be a lot of dust and it will take a few days for that dust to settle (and its the dust that's a real pain. It gets everywhere) but I have a couple of days work in London. So I'll let it slowly float to the floor over the weekend then hoover it all up Sunday night, ready for the next phase.
I mentioned the secret room in the last post, well a few day ago. I was clearing the small garden and the path that runs down the side of the house. On the path is, what I thought was a drain cover. Turns out its a coal hole lid. Back when the house was built,  heating and hot water would be provided by coal fires. Coal would be delivered in sacks off the back of a horse and cart and carried by the Coalman to your coal hole and tipped down the hole into the space below. Usually houses with cellars had coal holes. My house has no cellar, although my ground floor is a few steps down from ground level. Anyway I'm starting to get off the subject. I lifted the lid and stuck the camera phone down as far as I could reach. The space is about five foot squire with a domed roof. There was once a door that connected it to the house but that has been bricked up at some point. The coalrooms location is roughly opposite where the new bathroom is going. At best it might make a great quirky shower room at worse some useful storage space. Whatever it turns into it's a nice surprise.
   In other news, my walks along the beach haven't turned up anything really interesting except this picture of green algae on the sea wall and Chavvy's hat. I shall include a picture of the said hat in my next post.
   It's taken so long for me to publish this post, that the rain has returned and brought Gale force winds with it and after all the stripping out I have found a little leak in the roof. I have a bucket in place to catch the occasional drop.This little house has been so unloved for years. Which is a real shame.
   I have been doing a little research down at the library ( I haven't belonged to a public library for a least thirty years !) and have looked at local maps and director's to find out more about the house and its neighbour's.but along with Chavvy's hat that's for another post.

Onwards and upwards in the search for fulfilment :-)))

Time management.

 

 With the house move I've had sometime to consider things. Now I live over eighty miles from the place where all my work came from and some of it still does I realize that without proper planning, I'm going to waste a lot of time and petrol. I thought I was good at planning but the truth is, I'm absolutely pants.
   Now that didn't take too long to figure out. What did was how my poor planning has lead to a number of things. There's the obvious, income, pissing people off etc etc and the less obvious, little definition between work time and free time and low self-esteem. I'm surprised it's taken me so long to figure this out. Still, no matter, fate and lady luck has kept an eye on me in the meantime. Now I'm not sure how to go about changing this, I lack the discipline at times ( most times) not to get distracted. Still that's my problem to tackle and in the grand scheme of things not a difficult one.
   In other news from the coast. The strip out of the house continues. I've found a secret room but more about that in a latter post. The building inspector is coming tomorrow. He will take a look at what has been done so far and listen to my plans for the house then offer an opinion as to whether it's the kind of thing the local council would agree to.
   I continue to discover nice places. Like the Pub on the Pier (above)  Margate doesn't really have a pier it's more a sea wall but it is a pub and it is at the end. So they got two out of three. I wiped away the condensation from the window and took the picture across the small harbour.
    I've also found a nice workman's cafe. We'll it's really the lady who makes the coffee who is nice. Hence my frequent visits. I better ask her,her name really soon. As the bacon rolls while nice are going to have a detrimental affect on my waistline.
   So you're pretty much up to date. Oh yes the name of the blog has changed too. I thank Chris Gardner for the use of his name and the inspiration. Now it's time to move on.

Onwards and upwards, in search of fulfilment :-)))
   

Title change

   I've been thinking recently where my blogging is going. I'm not, so in a hurry to write things down or share my thoughts. That's not to say I don't have any. They just seem a little at odds with the original idea for the blog.
   Firstly, it's time to change the title. I've stood on Chris Gardner's shoulders for long enough. His example of never giving up struck a chord with me way back then. Today I don't have to switch on the inner voice and hear.
"Come on, keep going, you can do this, get through this"
I now know I can. That's not being arrogant or saying I'm free from my depression. It will always be there in the wings waiting. Just like there's always a drink to tempt an alcoholic. I know now what to avoid and when to say "enough." The battle has been won but the war still goes on in the background.
   I'd love to say I beat the dreaded thing but honestly, it just got bored with me. It was fed up with my constant thoughts of a bright future and smiles, when I didn't want to smile. We all know someone, who without meaning to, gets on our tits. The mear sight of them or the sound of their voice sets us off. I was that person. I got on Depressions tits and they've gone for the time being.
   I shall change the title to something more appropriate for this moment in time. Ok that's me done. I shall get dressed and have a wander along the Esplanade and see what the sea has washed up.

Onwards and upwards towards fulfilment :-)

Getting back to old habits.

 

 With all the big changes associated with moving now three weeks behind me, It's time to ease back into some of the go habits I've formed in th recent past. Blogging being the one for today, I've continued to read other blogs but just haven't made the time to write my own.
   It's been a busy few weeks, moving, paperwork, finding where things are but it's not all been the little stressy things. I've found out I can see the sea from my window. The dog walkers I pass on my walk along the beach say good morning, so do the joggers (I guess that's insurance just in case they kell over due to their exertions and need my help).
   I've started to strip out things from the new (old) house and tart up some of my junk that's been hidden away in a garage for a few years.
   The day outside is bright and chilly. Here inside it's just bright :-) The picture was taken a couple of weeks ago on the coast road, a few hundred yards from me. Sadly the Lido is closed and in a bit of a state, although the Orange bit at the top switches on each evening. I wonder who pays for that?

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfilment :-)))

Nearly another year.

Another year is almost here and with it, the dilemma of resolutions. Make one and chances are by mid February I would be slipping at best but more than likely I would have failed. Now 2013 has been a special year for me. To quote one of my customers "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." He of course was quoting Charles Dickens. It's nice working for smart people. They usually have better coffee (but alas no biscuits) and give me plenty of reasons to search wiki and find out who said what and why but I digress. Lets get back to resolutions. Make them and chances are we'll fail. Don't make them and, well you've failed already haven't you.

  So I've been giving this a bit of thought. I want something that's not as specific as "make sure my paperwork is up to date" so maybe "lets be a bit more tidier than last year" will do but that doesn't cover all the other stuff, like exercise, weight, better food ( feel free to add your own bete noire). So I've hit on the one size fits all, "lets really try and not fuck up as much as last year." I'm sure you'll agree it's pretty catchy as resolutions go and pretty inclusive. I can eat pizza and not go near a gym but as long as my paperwork is looking tidy I'm winning.

   Don't take this too seriously. By all means make um or fake um or ignore um, it matters not. If there's one thing I think you should do and I do, do each year.Is never ever give up on yourself NO matter what. The beauty of not giving up, is it's free. Bloody tiring yes, exhausting even but  it's your secret and it's your place to go when it's raining and you don't have a coat. You can never fail when you'e made that decision to never give up on yourself. You can be laying in the dirt, bloody and bruised after your particular demon has kicked the shit out of you again and know that as bad as things are you haven't said I give up.

   The picture is one I took a few weeks back of a Christmas Tree in a shop window.Yes, under all those baubles is a tree. I thought this was a lovely tree. No lights or fancy tricks just too many baubles making it both simple but over dressed at the same time.Which kind of sums up Christmas.Something that should be simple but gets a tad over done.

Onwards and upwards in search of fulfilment :-)))

        

Moving on.......

(Wed)   Today in around 12 hours the deals will be done. We (Mrs ex and I) will no longer jointly own a home but instead each own something smaller and with a hundred miles between us. It's both a sad and a happy time. We have both been wrapping and packing side by side.
"Do you want this?"
"Yes please/no thanks/you have it."
We've been cordial and friendly since we split but it's very tough being so considered and considerate, with each other over who has this and who has that. Moving away from the house that was our family home for almost 25 years is tough, tougher when you know she feels the same. Both girls are acting a little strange. No1 daughter is finding lots of reasons to stay late at work. It's not to get out of doing her share of the packing. She just doesn't want to see the only home she has every know slowly disappear. No2 is very quite and is keeping herself to herself. I think it's best to let them work through this in their own time and way. I remember, as a 14 year old being very upset when we moved. I left my school and friends and the places I'd grown up in. So I know a little about how they feel.
(Thurs)   We finished moving Mrs X into her new home by about 7 last night and dashed back and loaded most of my remaining rubbish onto the van. It was too late for me to get down to deepest Kent, so I stayed with friends who live about 20 miles from my new home overnight. I've emptied the van and am about to drive back and pick up the last bits and a massive chest of drawers I brought at Auction (more about that at a later date).
(Sat)   I have an old van, which I plan to keep, for several reasons. The most important is the fact that the van has shared my toughest times. So it's important to me that it shares the better times. I know that sounds a little weird. It's a big lump of metal and rust with no heart or brain but as I used to drive it around, it was where my thoughts and dreams on how my future might be were hatched. It's not the most comfortable or reliable at present so I've budgeted to buy a second hand car. I'll tax and insure it for six months. If it's affordable to run both, then I will. If not then one of them will have to go. This morning I'm off to see a car I've had my eye on for a while.

   It's Monday now and here I am to summarise. I did buy the car, it's not the most sensible of buys for a number of reasons but it's great fun to drive. I went on a day trip to France yesterday with a friend. She had booked the trip a while back so I decided to join her. I brought a few bottles of wine, a few Christmas presents, some food, Christmas baubles for my first Christmas tree and big socks.
   I'm feeling a little guilty. I'm buying things and enjoying myself before I've earned it. I'll have a ponder on that over the next few days as I start to put things together.
   I have a few phone calls to make then I'm going to put my tree up and straighten things up a bit.

Onwards and upwards in search of fulfilment and Santa Claus :-)        
 

critics and criticism

    Once upon a time, I would jot down my thoughts and feelings almost daily. Now it's more random. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. On one hand, posts are a bit more focused on the other it's all a bit edited. The truth of the moment is lost, be it good or bad.
   So what have I got to say for myself today? Well it's to do with criticism. If you're reading this chances are, you spend a fair bit of time working through self-criticism and you know the effect that can have on a life and those of others. I still have that little voice chirping away when things are not as I'd like. I'm working on that.
   I was about to type, I'm more forgiving. Which would be wrong, for me anyway. No, I'm more honest with myself now. There are times when for one reason or another I'm not going to be able to do something. So I let it go or rearrange. That in itself is worthy of note but what is more important is how I view others. Up until sometime recently, I was quietly critical of other's but somewhere along the way it's disappeared. Others can behave the way they do. I have no idea how their lives are going or how that's affecting them. If their behaviour really grates then I can choose to move on or away.
   What really surprises me is how I now behave towards others. I think in the past my critical radar would be switched on long before I was. If I came into contact with someone maybe not at their best I'd adjust accordingly. Now I find with the radar off people are far more affable.
   It's another little sign that I look outwards more and not so inwards now than in the past. There's still things to face and work on but I'll take a small victory on the road to something more fulfiling.
   Talking of the road to something more fulfilling.I'm eight days away from the big move. We are all packing and deciding who gets what or who would like what. No arguments and agreement that if something really is missed in the future, we'll take another look at it then.. The picture is the view at the end of my new road. In a couple of weeks I shall bore you with pictures of my own.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfilment :-)))