Tuesday, 16 April 2013

It's hope that kills you!

   Another line from another post, stolen by me. This time from a sports blogger. The writers team, are at the bottom of the league. Mathematically they have a chance of avoiding the drop. Historically no team doing that badly has managed it. He knows deep, deep down they are doomed but he can't bring himself to accept it and will clutch at anything, however futile that gives some hope.
    After a weekend of a missed deadline, some minor family squabbling and a wonderful few hours with a very dear friend. Am I in the same boat as the sports blogger?
   Please don't assume today's post is about to descend into some snot and tears black hole, it isn't. It's more an elucidating moment in time ( "an act of explaining that serves to clear up and cast light on." I had to look it up and thought it best to cut and paste it. I wouldn't want you to run away with the idea that I'm erudite. You'll have to look that one up in your own time, as I want to finish this post sometime soon) .
   I've moved from generally ok to a pretty positive state of mind over the last couple of months. The realization that even when I was feeling pretty shitty and low, normal life went on and I functioned ok. Has shown me, that a return to there, at any stage in the future wouldn't be the end of the world. I just have to remember, if it were to happen, not to devote any thinking time to it or talk about it.
   I'm getting off the point a bit but it kind of fits in with the post so read on. Recently instead of just asking for "A ticket to" or "A large coffee" or " How much is" I've started with "How are you?" Two things happen. Firstly the recipient is always knocked off guard and pauses. Then secondly they say something like "ok thanks, how are you?" or " Yeah good, what can I get you." So far no one has been negative. Why? Well firstly they're all strangers and I guess good manners and a basic defensiveness kicks in and maybe they realize at that particular moment, they are ok, even happy. Now contrast that with people we know. Without even having to ask, you're told what a miserable day, week, month it's been. Nobody loves them and it's somebody else's fault. I'm making a promise to myself right now, never to do that, well not out loud anyway. It serves no purpose, other to spoil someone else's time and to cast a shadow on what's to come. I'm turning into the heavy smoker whose now given up and now cannot stand other smokers. They remind him of what he was and how he misses it, the immediate comfort it gives while secretly causing long term damage. I'm not really that bad but there are better ways of dealing with the lows. Firstly I'll leave my miserable day behind where it belongs and If I do have a problem and I can't figure it out. Then I'll find the right person and equally as importantly the right time to bring it up.
  Which brings me back to hope. The belief in a good outcome related to events and circumstances in ones life. I have clung on to hope, without the relevant events and circumstances being present. I doubt I'm alone in this, how often have you clung to hope the same way as our poor deluded sportsman. With well being comes better decision making, so events and circumstances catch up with and improve hopes chances.
   Well I've written plenty but I'm not sure I've said much?

Onwards and upwards. In the pursuit of fulfillment and happyness :-)