Worrying really isn't worth the worry !

   Following on from my last post, I happened to be reading through the BBC news site, a day or two after and found an item which contained a quote from Winston Churchill. Now I'm a real fan of WC, his quotes are a mix of homespun good sense underlined with a good education and humour. I went in search of the article a day or two later and couldn't find it. I did however find a ton of stuff about how tiring, worry can be. Is that why depressives sleep so much? or always say they are tired? Now smarter people than me know the answer to this, so I'll try not to worry about it. Which leads me on to something else I've been trying not to do. Negative thinking.
   I can be in a really good place. Both physically and mentally when dark oil flows in to my mind and things turn a little gray and depressing. Recently I have been catching this early and not letting it take root and spoil things. I know I'm not alone in this. People leave go of their control. Why do we do this? why do we let ourselves down? We walk along with faces devoid of a smile but etched with worry, boredom and misery. Why why why? (I'm beginning to worry now) on balance most of us have plenty to be happy about and I do try to correct that too and push a little smile onto my face. So if you happen on a tall bald bloke with a twisted manic smile, say hello and ask me how I am.
   My house sale is wobbling along. I'm finding it really tough not to splash pictures of the beach, the sea and other ephemera on these pages. Inside I have fifty little me's leaping up and down waving and singing but I'm keeping them in check. I don't want to put the abdabs on it but you'll know the second after I do and I don't care if you wanted to or not. It won't be a celebration for one but for everyone. If I can get my brown stuff in order then anyone can.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfilment and happyness :-)     

Setbacks and problems........

   Our house sale has stalled. I won't go into any detail. There is, in fact little detail just a lull in proceedings and a negative air hanging over the whole affair. Ex and I had a sit down and drew up contingency plans, should the worst happen. I say worst but when I look back fate has always provided a better alternative.
   The very worst thing that's happened to me and those closest to me, was the loss of our son Jack at birth but then a year or so later Izzy arrived. Our loss seems small when I compare that to the joy and occasionally annoyance Izzy has heaped on us over the last eighteen years.
   So while it's frustrating it's not the end of my little World is it. There's nothing I like more than trying to second guess what someone's up to but now I think my time would be better employed staying busy with the things that need to be done and there by keep my mind off of things that may well not happen but on those things that will happen.
   So that's me done for a few days. I wonder how much of my life has been spent worrying about what didn't happen and not enjoying what did.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfilment and happyness

Drains ......

   Blocked drains are something that I come across occasionally in my line of work. It can take a while to unblock a drain. I can't always see the blockage, it's covered in ! well you can guess. So I take an educated guess as to where the problem is. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes wrong. Occasionally you have to find another way to clear the blockage and once successful it pays to return a day or two later and check everything's ok. Because sometimes there's another little blockage further along that's the real reason and what I've shifted is just stinky camouflage. So I need to add a little extra to the bill to cover the return visit.  
   Are the problems we face in life similar to blocked drains? things we have left to slowly cause a problem or just not paying enough attention to the little alarm bells that go off in our heads. Is the solution the same ? find the blockage and remove it. Or get someone in whose qualified to deal with it. Either way don't forget to add a little to the bill. So you're covered for a look back occasionally and to check all is still clear.
   I've blogged more recently. Due in part to the changes that are about to happen and with that in mind I think it's time to tweak things a little. So a new sign off. No longer a search but a bit more, go getting!

Off to chew a little more of that Elephant :-)    

Chances part 2 ........

   Two things happened this weekend that should in normal circumstances inspire and drive me forwards. The first was a trip out on Sunday. One of the smartest things I did last year was get a subscription to the "Art Fund". It allows you to visit tons of art galleries up and down the Country for free or at a discount. This Sundays venue was Leighton House (www.leightonhouse.co.uk).          Frederic Lord Leighton was born a rich kid way back in 1830. He wanted to be an artist, not the profession usually associated with the middle classes and on a par with wanting to be a rap star today . Fortunately for him, money and indulgent parents helped him live the dream. He wasn't bad at it either, Queen Victoria brought one of his paintings and came to dinner. I'm not sure if dinner was part of the deal or she just liked him but she did. He had many interesting friends and a fair bit of influence when it came to promoting the Arts. Eventually he became the President of the Royal Academy of Arts. He was ennobled (knighted) towards the end of his life, becoming Frederic, Lord Leighton, Baron Stretton. The only artist, so far, to be so honoured. The boy did good.
   Enough of the history back to the House. Leighton had the house built in Holland Park, an area which is part of what is now Kensington and Chelsea. The construction followed his design and very precise requirements. Part house, part studio, part gallery. The ground floor houses his collection of middle eastern tiles. Now he didn't just hang these tiles willy-nilly oh no. He's created an amazing set of rooms that literally transport you away from central London and drop you into a merchants villa next to a souk or amongst the palm trees and sand. It's absolutely amazing. The upstairs is a little more what you'd expect of a Victorian house but even here there's colour, wit and clever little touches to make life comfortable and relaxing after a hard day painting nymphs and cherubs in your vast studio. Which is a huge room scattered with Persian rugs a huge window to provide light, a small stage (your guess is as good as mine on what that's for) and decorated floor to ceiling with his pictures and those of his contemporaries.
   I felt pretty inspired and made little notes of things I'd like to recreate given half a chance and things go well with my up coming move.
   The second happening of the weekend, is I'm house sitting for a couple of friends. I've stayed here often, keeping their big black cat company reading their books and raiding their drinks cabinet. Here it dawned on me that this could be me soon. Living on my own again for the first time in about eighteen months. surrounded by my books, pictures, bits of furniture. If I needed a lift, a push to tie up loose ends, shouldn't this be it but it hasn't quite happened. It feels a little like a firework you light and step back from. The seconds tick by but nothing happens. You darn't approach it just in case it goes off but there's also a sense of disappointment that maybe it won't !
   I'll step away and go get mysel another bite of elephant.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfilment and happyness :-)

Chances.

   The one thing about feeling better, stronger or/and happier is your decision making improves or the decisions you now are having to make, seem a little easier and more within your capabilities. So that got me thinking and I came upon chance! For most of us, those living in the western world. Our lives are full of chances. Miss a bus, there's another. Lose a job, there's another. Miss a film, buy the DVD. Lose a lover, there's another. I'm not being glib, I know it isn't always the case (does anyone have the first series of 24, I missed the final episode so never bothered with the next five series) but life seems to give us lots of opportunities to try again.
   However when you're down in the dumps, those opportunities seem very scarce and when you're in a good place you don't see them passing you by.
   So what to do. How do I recognise a chance, whether my head is full of clouds or sunshine? Well I guess I'm spotting some already. So maybe it's just a case of being more tuned in. How, I'm not sure. I don't think it involves anything other than being in the moment. Actually living every second and not being away with the fairies, thinking about what may or may not happen.
   That's it really, something for you to think about over your cornflakes.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfilment and happiness :-)