Monday, 2 May 2016

Is there still time?

   Like most, I have my secrets. In the main they're my shortcomings, my failings. The biggest, I really manage money badly. I'd sooner buy an old book or a picture from a junk shop than food or pay a bill. I don't spend masses, I don't earn masses (which is another secret. Now exposed to the whole World, or more accurately the 27 people that read this blog) because I estimate my jobs badly and over run. So it made me feel a little less of a failure when I read that 52% of Americans cannot raise $400 quickly without having to borrow it.
It's pretty scary to think that so many people are as vulnerable as me. Many of those people, through no fault of their own. Me, well I should of managed things a whole lot better than I have. Which brings me to the point of today's post. How much time does it take to change things?
   I'm 58 and luckily, fairly fit for my age (well I should be with all that looking at all my pictures and reading old books instead of eating the food I don't have) Also looking at the family tree I can hopefully expect to reach my mid 70's albeit either over weight or not sure of my name and where I live. Or both. Seventy seems so far away but it isn't. It's only 12 years away. My kids went from conception (that was a brilliant couple of nights) to 12 in no time. Nappies to over sized (they'll grow into them) school uniforms to "I hate you. You never let me do anything." followed by lots of slamming doors. Not the kind of behaviour you'd expect from a grown up but to be fair, I did apologize. Looking back all that seemed to have happened over a few months not years.
   I live in a ruin, surrounded by flea bitten rugs, books, pictures brought for not a lot at auctions or in junk shops and lots of wonderful ideas. Plus there's another ruin in deepest France that doesn't even have a proper roof. When am I going to fix these places and how will I pay for it all? Is it time to call a halt to some projects and be realistic or do I live my dreams and I mean live them not continue to dream them? The reason I'm thinking this way is, my latest client. We'll call him Berserk of Bexhill. I'm fitting a kitchen for BB. We decided on a simple plan, as he has a very small budget. BB then contacted me to say he brought a second hand oven at a great price. it was a great price but it doesn't fit the plan we agreed. it requires a completely different type of housing which changes the plan completely. The guy's living hand to mouth and has one mad idea after another. He can pay me half what we agreed and the other half when he sells his car! He reminds me of someone. Oh yes me. So I'm going along with his madness because it's the kind of dumb stupidness I get myself into. It seems like some kind of weird karma. I work with his craziness and it helps me understand mine.  
   I guess the fact that I'm willing to detach myself and coldly commit to screen what a financial clutz I am and I most certainly am. Plus the questioning of whether I should go on with certain plans and projects is a good thing.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfillment :-)))          

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