Travelling to better places.

   I've noticed recently, I'm in a better happier place. I can't put my finger on why.  Which is slightly annoying. I expected to have a Eureka moment and a brass band at the door, bunting and cake. All my issues would dissolve as the answer to that nagging question popped into my head. However it seems things don't work that way. Change happens slowly and it's multi faceted. Small unconnected things I'm doing to try and improve things seem to all mesh together at some invisible point and then I realise I'm feeling better!
   Don't run away with the idea that all is perfect. There are still things I get wrong or do badly but the list isn't as long as it used to be. I still annoy people but tend not to annoy myself as much. Which is a plus, seeing as I seems to be with myself 24/7. Other people I can avoid till they calm down.
   In other news ..... I'm off to Scotland for a few days. Primarily I'm going there to pick up some tiles I brought on eBay for a ridiculously small amount of money. Spending a ridiculous large amount of money on petrol, getting there and back. However I get to see a friend in Wigan (half way between me and the Scots) and she wants to come along for the ride. We'll visit a few galleries and places of interest along the way and meet up with my Cousin, who is looking after the ridiculously cheap tiles. They are an unusual colour and I think there's just enough boxes to do the hallway of Maison Margate. I like the idea of things having a story. In future, each time I pop along the hallway it may remind me of my trip. I brought an old front door recently. Again very cheaply and again spent a bit on petrol to collect it. It has spent it's life, about 100 years, keeping the elements at bay and watching the Sun disappearing into the sea near St Ives in Cornwell. The furthest west you can get in this Country. Soon it will be protecting me from the elements and watching the Sun come up from the furthest point east you can be in this Country. It will matter to no one but me and the door.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfillment :-)))

A very late "Post."

   This has been sitting in the edit department for a while now. Work has kind of got in the way of things but it has it's place in my history. So here it is.
   Mad girl and I split up after our holiday in Febuary. All very amicably. We chat on the phone often and I've been over to finish some tiling and stuff. There are a couple of small things we don't seem to manage to get right and we'd much prefer to be friends than bounce along like we have been.
   I've been getting on with work and looking after myself quite nicely since. That helped move things on. Unexpectedly  a couple of months later an ad appeared with my emails for an online dating site. I did this once before. Then it wasn't the right time for me. I was a bit needy.ow I'm in a much better place. So I filled in the required boxes, wrote an amusing profile that highlighted all my faults. There's nothing worse than someone pointing out your faults, so I got in there first and added a few more for good measure. A couple of profile pictures and hey presto.
   There's a few things to be aware of. Anybody who doesn't have a profile picture, anybody seriously younger than you and anybody who can't spell or know the basics of grammer. It's usually a scam of some kind.
   So I did a search of the local area. Lots of diabolical selfies and profiles that were more a shopping list of things required and not required from any potential suitor. Soulmates are very high on most lists. Now if you didn't manage to find your soulmate first time around, when the market was full of young free and single people. Do they really think there's much chance now? Given that most in the market will be second hand and carrying more baggage than your average holiday jet.
   There's also something called "dating diaries" where you can read comments left by the opposite sex. These are mostly in the form of long moans and instructions to follow. Our pictures and profiles are rubbish, lieing about our their age (more on that later) and not reading the diarest's profile properly. Durrrrr we're talking about men here. We don't read instructions or the information on medicine bottles when we're ill. Once we've seen your picture and worked out you don't live miles away, we've all the information we need. The diarist are shooting themselves in the foot here. We may not read their whole profile but we've homed in on the moaning and have crossed them off the "possibles" list straight away.
   I'm really enjoying the absurdity of it all. Profile pictures fall into several categories. Some good selfies and some very bad ones. Or the pictures with the ex cut out and just his arm hanging over their shoulder like a weird hallowen scarf. Then there are the pictures taken from several miles away or pictures of the person with her friend/sister etc and you're not sure who's who. Or and this is very strange. A picture of a cat/dog/horse. Is that some kind of strange secret code?
   Then there are the profiles.  Where every women around my age proclaims they like nothing better than walking along an empty beach. I'd love to know which beach, because it sure as hell isn't the one at the end of my road (pictured above). Somewhere in this country is a stretch of coastline, knee deep in single women my age looking for Mr Right.
    I have met one woman. She sent me a message primarily because I didn't look the same as the other men (I'm not sure that's necessarily a good thing) and my profile was "funny". We sent messages back and forth and I looked her up on Facebook. On the dating site she said she was two years younger than me. On Facebook she was a year older than me and when we met I'd say she was probably a couple of years older than that. Still no problem, she was interesting, chatty and we had a great afternoon visiting a couple of exhibitions and shared a beer afterwards then both headed off separately for home. No sparks but a nice day. I couldn't really get the lying about the age thing out of my head. I appreciate nobody likes to get old but what if we'd hit it off. When would the right time be, to own up??? I guess when she realised I didn't own a Ferrari or live in a mansion.

Onwards and upwards. In search of fulfillment :-)))  

Washing up.

   For someone who lives on their own, I generate a lot of washing up. I guess it's a man thing. Just like being pregnant is a woman thing. I've met a lot of pregnant woman in my time and quite a few behave like they are the only ones that have ever been pregnant and about to give birth.  Man cooking, is much the same. We believe we have created something never seen before. When in truth the only thing never seen before is the mountain of washing up we have created. I have made a potato and leek soup and a pork and bean stew. Which I'll take back to London for lunch at work this week. I'm staying with a friend while working and because I made enough Pork and beans to see me through a nuclear apocalypse, we started on it last night. She's a very good cook and thought it tasted fine but then she had had a couple of glasses of wine before I arrived. So I'm not get carried away.
   As far as works concerned this week I have a lot of staining to do. Years ago a decorator friend showed me how to mix paint, spirits and oils to get a stain that exactly match the colour you were painting a wall or door or whatever. It's been a useful little trick. So the cabinet doors on the kitchen I'm installing will match the room doors. In fact the whole cabinet inside and out will match the doors. My client wasn't too sure if this was going to work. So yesterday she got a train from her main house down to the London house, a 200 mile round trip. So she's really keen or she doesn't trust me. Either way all is well. She likes the effect. I've include a picture but I have to say it's difficult to see, there is now a blue veining running through the oak. You might be able to see it if you zoom in. Maybe it will be easier to see when its all done. Then you can all come round and take a look.
   I had an aunt who believed she had a Red Indian spirit guide watching her. Even as a nine year old I thought it strange that a Red Indian ghost had traveled all the way to West London to protect my batty aunt. The coming of the internet introduced me, not personally you understand, to a whole host of people who thought they had Red Indian spirit guides. Where there really that many Red Indians. John Wayne dispatched quite a lot of them if memory serves me right and I can't believe they would be prepared to come back in the afterlife to protect us. Seeing how we were responsible for their near extinction. Now forgive my flippancy. In some quarters my description will be thought of as rude and in bad taste. I know Indigenous peoples or Native Americans is the correct way but my batty aunt wouldn't know what we were going on about and the next part of this wouldn't have had such a rambling lead up. My long distance friend Pres reads the blog occasionally and picked up on the fact that I was having a bit of a self inflicted tough time. So he phoned and we spoke for about an hour and he's regularly been texting to check I'm ok. Now he's not dead or an Indigenous American but alive and kicking and of Indian (Asian) descent. So I have a spirit guide too. Watching over me, which I much appreciate.

Onwards and upwards. In search of fulfillment :-)))

In memory of Molly a much missed friend of my friend and his family.
       

The results are in...

   So the results are in. The Conservatives are back in power with a small majority, 331 seats. All the other parties combined have 319. Their partners in the previous coalition, the Liberal  Democrats took a real beating this time, losing most of their seats. The SNP (Scottish National Party) picked up 56 of the 59 seats available in Scotland. They had 6 previosly. UKIP managed 1. They had 2. Their leader, who was standing in my constituency didn't quite make it. Coming second and keeping his promise, resigned his leadership of his party.
   Now here's the interesting part. We have a first past the post system here not proportional representation. So while UKIP received 12.6% of the National vote they only got one seat. The Lib Dems received 7.9% getting 5 seats. The SNP 4.7% and gained a whooping 56 seats.  So a couple Parties feel hard done by but that's our system. It would however be daft for any Politician to ignore the %'s and what those people were voting for.
   Some area's also had local council elections. We did, our's was many made up of Labour councillors but they've misjudged and mishandled local affairs of late and they've paid the price. UKIP took 33 of the 56 seats. Labour who had the majority before ended up with just 4. UKIP's agenda seems to rest on two thorny local subjects. The forced purchase of the local Airport and dog poo. The airport was brought for £1 (plus it's debt) a year ago with the promise from the new owner that they would try and turn it round within a year. The owner closed it after four months and wants to build houses on it. Most think that was her motive from the beginning. Que local uproar. The previous administration wasn't keen on getting involved and kind of mucked the whole thing up. The new mob want it up and running again. They are also planning, "on the spot fines" of £80 if you litter or your dog misbehavior's on the street. We have some very irresponsible dog owners here and the streets pay testament to that fact. However you'd be hard pressed to extract 80 pence from the good unemployed folk of this locale, let alone £80.
   In other news I've been in hiding for a few days. Not doing anything I should, when I should be. OK a lazy day is fine every so often but not several strung together. I'm not sure what triggers it. Or maybe I am and I'm choosing to subconsciously ignore it. It's just a set back that is and will be dealt with. Some days the Miserys get a bigger kicking than other days and occasionally it gives me a bit of a mauling. I have to say thanks to Pres who swapped a few messages with me over the weekend. It was kind of you to take the time )))
   The last few days havent been a total write off. I collected some poppy seeds from a couple of stray Blue Poppies that managed to grow amongest the building rubble in my front garden last summer. The seeds were put in an old brown envelope and stuck at the back of the fridge. I sprinkled a few on to some soil, in an old cardboard egg box (you can cut up the box and plant the segments into the ground without upsetting the seeds if they take) Well the seeds have taken and hopefully will keep growing. I'll keep you posted.
   The shell collection continues to grow too. I can't resist picking up a few shells as I walk along the beach. I'm a kid all over again. I know, I've mentioned that before but anything that makes you feel like a kid can't be bad can it?

Onwards and upwards, in search of fulfillment :-)))
               

If I was chocolate, I'd eat myself.

While working this week I've had the radio on most of the time. There were a couple of things that stuck in the brain. A play where the main character after hanging a mirror in his bathroom stood back and while admiring his handy work exclaimed, "If I was chocolate I'd eat myself." I can't wait to use that line. The other was a series of interviews from the late fifties and early sixties. With people like Bette Davis and Brian Epstein (the first Beatles manager) where they all claimed their success was down to their own hard work and diligence. I doubt many captains of industry, actors or sports people would claim that today, without including a plethora of other people who helped. Then there was, "Hellhound on his trail" the story of the assassination of Martin Luther King and the hunt for his killer, James Earl Ray. I was just 10 when King was murdered and faintly remember it being on the news. Back then, news here in the UK was mostly local. The exceptions being the Vietnam war, Earthquakes and the odd assassination. The adaptation of the book for radio was good and filled in all the gaps and added stuff I didn't know about King and his career around the time of his death.  
The pollstations are closed and the results are coming in. It looks like the Conservatives have an outright lead . Employment, low immigration and better health care have been the three main topics regularly discussed on TV. The smaller parties have made the biggest promises. Safe in the knowledge they won't get to lead so it puts more pressure on the bigger parties. This time round we seem to be very inward looking. The Scots and Welsh Nationalists are poised to do well within their borders. England? well we don't really have a nationalist party as such. we've flirted with the idea but they've always been seriously right wing and dangerous. Now however we have UKIP. The United Kingdom Liberation Party. Most consider it an English, slightly far right party made up of oddballs who believe that most of our ills have been caused by Johnny Foreigner. Their leader, Nigel Farge is standing for election in the South Thanet constituency, which is where I live and I've come home for a couple of days. Primarily to vote. UKIP like the Welsh and Scots have picked up a lot of disaffected voters. People who believe on the whole that Governments do very little for them. So results will be very interesting.

Onwards and upwards. In the pursuit of fulfillment :-)))

Sunday at home.

   The parcel office here is open Sundays 10 till 2. Which is handy as I'm never here when it's open normal hours. I had two parcels to collect. Via a slight detour to pick up some food, I collected my parcels. A second pair of reading glasses and an old brass letter box for my old front door. Once home I posed in front of the mirror for few minutes trying to look smart in my new glasses. Gave that up as a bad job and chopped up the recently purchased vegetables, popped them in the slow cooker along with some beef and switched on. In a few hours the fairies will have finished their magic and supper will be ready.
   I had a pile of books to take to the book shop at the bottom of the road and then planned to go for a walk along the beach as the tide was out (according to the little app on my phone). The pile of books came courtesy of my Mum. She belongs to a book club and ends up reading lots of high brow books she doesn't enjoy. I know, don't ask. Once in a while she asks me whether I would like any of them, which translated from mum speak to normal English is, "can you take these books away please, as I'm old and feeble." The part time book shop at the end of the road is open Tuesdays and Sundays. It's run by a local couple. Laid out in no particular order with chairs dotted around, so you can sit and read. They probably only make enough to pay the rent and the coffee, which you're given soon after you arrive. So they get Mums books and I get to look along the shelves for old penguin paperbacks. With two additions for my collection and buzzing from the strong coffee I crossed the road and through the gap to the sea.
   I've been here almost eighteen mouths now and still haven't lost the childlike thrill of looking out to sea at the boats and picking up shells to take home. I go, prepared with something to put the shells in and boots just in case I decide to search around the rock pools. I've become a beach "bag lady" slowly making my way along the waterline looking for anything interesting. I've seen a seashell path in the town. Lots of shells crushed under foot over many years. I only have a small garden so it's do able. I might have to swap the plastic bag for a bucket though. Amongst the shells and pebbles were a lot of crab bits, legs, claws, shells. It looked like some massive crab fight had gone off. I'm sure there's a natural explanation for it but I like my idea. One crab looking at another crabs girlfriend, followed by a few words and insults. Then bang, massive crab fight. I also found a half buried octopus. Which on closer inspection turned out to be a bicycle tyre. As I mentioned. If you walk along the beach slowly you start to see more and become turned into what you're doing. Which links me into something else I was doing this week. Sometimes blogs I follow stop. The authors moves on or get bored or finds the time commitment to blog difficult to keep up with. So I had a look around to see whats out there. One of the blogs I read, felt really miserable and that things wouldn't change. mistakes where made and people had moved on. Given my experience, I decided to leave a comment. Along the lines of don't give up, look at things differently. Because when you do the nice shells appear as if by magic. Talking of magic I think the fairies of the slow cooker have done their stuff so it's time to eat.

Onwards and upwards. In search of fulfillment :-)))

         

Hits

   I'd be lying if I didn't say I didn't check on how many views a particular post gets. Lately I'm getting alot of attention from Russia. Why I have little idea. My bank accounts are running on empty so hacking would appear a futile exercise. I doubt I'd make a good spy. Maybe my post titles resemble something popular out there. If you see ads appearing here, for fur hats and snow chains you'll know I'm cashing in. "Privet Rossii."
   I went and picked up a few bits left at mad girls today. The house was empty, so I could collect my stuff and remember in peace. Don't go getting sad on me, things have ended in a good way. my shirts still have their sleeves, my trousers (pants for you Aims) still have legs and we are still friends. I won't miss the journey backwards and forwards though, 52 miles of the most boring parts of Kent. Maybe I should get out a bit and find a nice drive somewhere. Then find some unsuspecting woman at the end. I love you for your smile, your humour and the great drive to your house. Or, this isn't working between us but I'll visit often cos the journey's just wonderful.
   Have I mentioned time before? I must have I've rambled on about most things . Or more specifically, time healing? I've read a few things from people who for a variety of reasons have had things tough but say "time has healed," and they feel better. Time did that? No they did that. They went in search of answers and filled their buckets with things that seemed relevant until the pain and bile spilled out over the top and all that was left was good stuff. I mention this as I appear to be more resilient of late. My bucket must be almost full and the indecision and procrastination are tipping out. I've even caught myself smiling for no apparent reason. That could very well signal madness and you would be hard pressed to see my smile as the shaggy beard hides it well.
   Ok that's me done.

Onwards and upwards. In search of fulfillment :-)))