Wednesday, 5 October 2011

That's got me thinking.

Yesterday I mentioned briefly that being away from the things that made me sad have helped with my recovery. I know that's stating the obvious but it's got me thinking.

So while I was wandering the isles of the local Asda filling my eco lifetime shopping bag and pondering on this my phone rang. It was my ex complaining that some paint I had brought was "rubbish", I'll explain. My daughter wants to paint a shelving unit in her room white. Normally you'd have to prime/undercoat and then finish off with your topcoat of choice. Thinking I'd help matters along I found a one coat paint just right for the job. Right you're up to speed now, lets move on. So my ex went on to explain my daughter had started painting the aforementioned unit and the "paint" was just a clear varnish and not white as expected. I asked if they'd stirred the paint beforehand and was told of course they had. Ok I'll sort it out I said, end of call. Now I'm abit anxious. I'll need to find some time go and collect the "rubbish" paint suffering the odd sarky comment take it back where I brought it from etc etc. So after paying for my shopping and heading home with a little less spring in my step. I get a text. "Twit didn't stir it."

Which serves as the most perfect example of the last years of my marriage. My ex shedding any stress of her own making or anybody else's on me to sort out. Now as I never stopped her doing it. I was as guilty in a way as she was but I suffered for it more than she did.

Like an alcoholic needs to keep away from booze to aid their recovery. Have I distanced myself enough from the things that ails me? (not far enough from my ex obviously) Do I know what ails me?

I read several blogs and there are common thoughts running through all of them, regardless of the depth of the individuals misery. The lack of motivation, poor diet and sleep etc etc.

Now, this really is me just thinking out loud but the last few days have gone well. Partly because I gave myself plenty of time to complete things and let people know what my plans were. So I want to continue with this and while I do, think about what I maybe need to distance myself from in the mean time.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happyness :-)

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