Sunday, 18 March 2012

A day to myself.

   I cancelled the alarm on my phone last night. As today has been the first I could lay in for a while, not being due somewhere else or staying away from home and under the orders of someone else's morning regime.
   The day's mostly my own. So a chance to do whatever I like. Read some blogs, hopefully add to mine. Go for a wander and catch up on a bit of TV. I've no intention of thinking about work until I wake up tomorrow morning, that said I will have an early night tonight (something I need to do on a regular basis, I do hate having to accept I'm getting old).
   It's a funny time. I'm wading through deeper and deeper shit. It's a mix of bad luck and a huge dollop of bad decisions made on my part. Which shame and a little pride means I'm not going into any detail or expand on that here. The funny thing is I haven't felt this confident and positive over a period of days and weeks as I have done lately.
   There's been a shift in the last few months. Firstly I see my misery in comparison to that of others, people who really are in a bad way with no hope of a turnaround. Makes mine pale in comparison. When I really felt lost, knowing this didn't help and if anything it just made me feel worse, for being so self centered but there was a time for this and now it's past. My thinking is more rational. A feeling that things will improve permeates my conscious hours. I sleep well and even have nice dreams.
   There's lots to do but there's always a lot to do in any life. There's no getting away from the fact that I am in a position to make change. OK it's not going to be brilliant stuff at the moment but no doubt it will be!
   So what's changed ? I'm not exactly sure. As things have become worse, I've had two choices hide or face up to them. Reading and experimenting with different ways and ideas has helped. So it's a mix and will continue to be.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of fulfillment and happyness :-)


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