Days 79&80 rolling with the punches.

Yesterday started well. Unfortunately it went steadily downhill as it progressed. None of which was my doing. Someone close let themselves down and messed the day up for both of us. No doubt I'll get an email later say it was in fact my fault (which it wasn't. To be fair they has a pretty serious problem so it's not entirely something they can control).
As much as I love the person involved, we've reached a point where some serious and final decisions need to be made. Now several weeks, even days ago I would have been all over the place and totally unable to make any kind of rational decision but now I seem to have a growing strength to back me up.
Well well that bit of strength certainly helped me out. I made a tough decision and was prepared to walk away but it looks as if that won't be necessary now. There's a long way to go but I'm convinced it's right for me.
There's the beginning of an inner strength growing away deep down in my soul. Do you remember Weebles? and "Weebles Wobble but they don't fall down!" well I'm beginning to feel like that now. Able to take the knocks but bounce straight back.
Onwards and upwards my phantom friends :-)

Day 78 Things starting to pick up some pace.

Sorry, five days and no posts. I'm getting a thicker skin, which helps deflect the little niggles. That would have once knocked me back previously. So a bit of self belief and a chunk of selfishness creeping in as well. Not sure I'm too keen on the latter but I think it's something that comes with the territory at the moment.
Blood test results due Monday morning. Should be interesting. There were a couple of other things that were discussed at the time. So some follow up on that should be interesting.
Anyway for now I'll wish all my phantom friends a good day. Onwards and upwards :-)

Day 73 so far so good!

Well I'm up fed and ready for work. So a positive start. I'll add more later, till then my phantom friends I wish you all a good day.
Not a bad day nearly finished this job. As I stayed busy not much time to be a miserable git but my mind did wander a bit. As already mentioned I'm hoping this goes the same way as the gym. Keep plugging away and things start to improve.

Days 71&72 The weekend supplement.

This weekend, I'm going to record the ups and downs in a bit more detail. I'm also doing some searching on the net and will read through all the previous stuff to maybe highlight what's going on.
Not a great start to the day. Up, dressed and fed but little else. I'm supposed to be going to a job with a leaking loo, something I fitted a while ago. And there may lie my problem. As you know the gym is proving to be a bit of a magnet at the moment due to the fact that I'm beginning to see the results. Where as work isn't showing any positive results. So lack of interest followed by lack of earnings etc etc. I need to brake that cycle don't I. OK I'll finish this coffee and go and sort this then come back and list whats left to do and work through that first and let the gym thing work its magic on the work thing.

Day 70 I'd like to be happy now. Please.

Well, I managed to get up fairly early and be at work by 8:15. Work does help keep your mind off the dark things but they are lurking there in the back ground. Things are made more difficult because of the what's going on around me. My love life or lack of one is all consuming at the moment. I'm close to someone but not as close as I'd like to be and I think she's of the same opinion but we both have a couple of issues we need to get out of the way first. Once that's sorted I just want to spend a week holding and being held by her, nothing more than that. The warmth and security of a long hug is the one thing I want more than anything else. More than money, more than World peace, more than anything else. Just a hug.
Onwards and upwards my phantom friends :-)

Day 69, bad morning but a better afternoon.

I'm finding getting up becoming a problem again. Once up things didn't improve much. I could easily have rolled up into a ball and gone back to sleep. It wasn't until lunchtime that I began to feel ok. This evening has been better. I'm not sure whether or not I feel shit all the time and have the odd few happy hours or I'm ok most of the time and have crap mornings, days, weekends etc.
Onwards and upwards phantom friends :-)

Day 68

Apologies for the lack of posts but have now got the new laptop up and running. So my aimless twaddle is set to continue.
In about an hour, I'm off for the blood tests and in about an hour and five minutes I'll be stuffing my face.
The last few days have gone reasonable well. Overall I'm feeling pretty upbeat but there are some very difficult times ahead. With some difficult personal issues to overcome in the next few weeks and months. So I need to be on top form in all departments to be able to deal with it all.
I'm finding it pretty easy now to go to the gym. Rarely do I find excuses not to go and even if I think I'll just do twenty minutes I find I'll do more once I'm there.
My diet is improving as well. I'm avoiding the rubbish and not only eating the good stuff but enjoying it as well. So there is tangible evidence of my improvement.
Well until next time my phantom friends onwards and upwards :-)