Now that I've made a concerted effort to look after myself. Diet, exercise etc. I decided to ask a good friend if there was anything else I could work on. She said I was a bit needy and it wasn't an attractive quality. So I Read up abit and indeed I am needy.
Wanting something and needing it are very similar but the difference in how both of these manifest themselves through you. Either makes you independent and someone able to make decisions or needy and dependant on others. So yesterday at work, I tried to get to the bottom of it. I'm a bit behind with the job and caught myself, thinking "I need to finish this." When I changed that to "I want to finish this." I felt my thinking towards the job change slightly. For the better.
Over the year I've been writing this blog I've owned up to a few things and never felt bad or uncomfortable about that. This however is different and it's embarrassing and uncomfortable to have to admit it. However I think it is one of the root problems to my misery over the last few years and feels like it maybe a major junction on the route back to something far more interesting, fulfilling and happier.
I doubt my friend will ever appreciate how much she may have contributed to my "recovery" but at least you will.
Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happyness :-)