Monday, 20 December 2010

Day 262. Am I kidding myself?

Well did the aff's and managed to do most of the things I set out to do Yesterday. However I'm still avoiding things at times. Am I kidding myself or am I being abit impatient?
I hope it's the later. If you've read my previous posts you'll have an inkling that things financial are getting pretty desperate. Now please don't get the idea that I don't know how lucky I am. There's millions out there who would swap with me in a heart beat. I'm not expecting anything or want anything that I can't achieve on my own. I'm also acutely aware that unlike millions of others, I am to a certain degree in control of my own destiny. My ramblings here are just marks on the map of my life. Hopefully the route to my chosen destination is now appearing through the mist.
Today hasn't started that well mood wise. So I needed something to give me a bit of a boost. Something positive to lift my spirits. In desperation I read my last five postings and was surprised at my positive outlook. I was also a little surprised as to how much better I felt after reading it. So am I kidding myself? No, I think not. It's just going to take a bit more time.
It's a paperwork day today and there are one or two urgent pieces of paperwork to deal with. So they will be my goals of the day. I shall plough on and let you know if I've been successful later.

Well it's been about twelve hours since I typed the above. I've done half of what I need to do and have found lots of other things I didn't need to do to fill the space. I'd really like to know why I'm so crap at doing the things I need to do and World class at doing the things I don't. I guess I'll never fully understand why but as long as I can get past it and make something of the next few years then so be it.
I haven't much work in the pipeline I'm broke and in a fair bit of debt. That's on the negative side. On the positive I have the beginnings of a relationship with someone really nice. One or two people who look out for me and fairly good health. On balance my cup isn't as empty as I sometimes feel. So here seems a good place to end for now.

Onwards and upwards :-)

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