These last few months have been incredible. Both in a good and bad way. Every week I seem to learn something else about me or rediscover something about me I'd lost.
This week was probably one of the most important weeks. I'm missing MissG. She's got a lot on at the moment so I haven't seen her for a couple of weeks. Anyway we kind of fell out and there was a moment, a brief moment when things looked terminal. We overcame that but it did kind of shake me up. MissG has a big family, a big circle of friends and she likes to socialize. Me on the other hand has none of those things. So while her personal and emotional needs are taken care of through a large network. Mine are all focused on her. Now I do have family but as it's only been a year since my split, things are still a bit raw with my daughters and it's going to take time to get back to something normal. I have friends but they are joint friends (my ex's and mine) so that's a bit awkward too.
For the last year I've concentrated on work and haven't given a second thought to the personal side of my life. Well now's the time to get one. I need to socialize, I need to redevelop my personalty. Become more fulfilled more interesting. If I've got a variety of work and one job goes bad then I'll get by. It follows that with a variety of friends, acquaintances, hobbies and something goes wrong then I'll get by and probably have some support too.
Being objective, our relationship is unbalanced. We both have baggage from our previous lives. At the moment, I know I'm prone to misunderstanding words, actions and also the lack of them. I think we both are. I'm not confident enough to know when to just ignore things and when to stand up for myself. So you can see it's a recipe for disaster. I'm not sure how things are going to go over the next few weeks. What I do know is I'm aware of my short comings and my aim is not to let them get in the way as far as possible. I really hope things go well I enjoy her company.
So it's been a tough week emotionally but I met it head on and thought it though clearly and didn't do anything stupid. I couldn't reslove things straight away but I did get down to the gym as a start to a new me, I'm replacing a negative thought with a positive each time one strays in. So I'm very proud of myself and like myself a whole lot more.
This coming week is an important one for me. I hope yours goes well for you.
Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happyness :~)
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