Thursday, 24 November 2011

Simplification, support and other words starting with S.

Yesterday Jo mentioned being a big fan of simplification. I am too. Something I now see I got from my Dad. My Dad could neither read nor write and when he got the chance at 14 to become an apprentice gardener he took it. He was a wonderful plants man but a hopeless business man. Because of his inability to read he would always asked questions and if he didn't understand the answers just ask more question and then repeat back what he had learned so he knew and they knew he understood. He did everything, fixed the car and his work van. Sometimes our car and his work van were the same vehicle, which used to embarrass my mum , sister and me at the odd family wedding. There's no hiding a dirty blue transit van in a church car park. Anyway back to the story he decorated our home, fixed our toys, built stuff (a brilliant tree house in our garden) partly because he couldn't afford for anybody to do it and partly because he knew he could, a lot of men of his generation did. So subconsciously I absorbed that (along with his reading and writing problems) and I've always enjoyed learning new and strange things and asking lots of questions along the way. To keep it all things simple. People like me because I keep it simple. I am a "can do" man. Ignoring the problems in the full belief I can do whatever it is. I've had great success with this but it's also been something of a double edged sword and has brought me down too. During my little spell of counselling I discovered that learning all these little niche skills was something I did to mask my problems with reading and I guess Dad did it for much the same reasons. Whilst I'm proud of my "I can do that" attitude it has meant I have tried things I should have steered well clear of. It has also lead me to not fully appreciate my abilities and strengths. Because I've felt it was simple and any idiot could do it. I saw myself as a thick idiot and not to beat around the bush it's still there in the background..

Well I'm dealing with it. I'm slowly coming to terms with my talents and liking the person I am. I'm not boasting and find this a bit awkward to write as it seems like I'm boasting which I'm not. It just needs to be said, so you (and I, when I reread it) can see I'm getting on and moving forwards. As much as I got a lot of helpful knowledge from counselling I've found I'm soaking up even more from the blogs I read. So take a bow Med, Betty, CarrieAnn, Jamie, Jo and Ami etc. I'll stop there as it's beginning to sound like the intro to a Paul Simon song.

Lets move on to Support. Maybe some support from those close to me over the years would of changed things but it would be mean spirited of me to say it and think that way. I did get support and help. Mrs Richardson the lady who taught me to read. Changed my life. I guess it was the day to day stuff I missed out on. The hugs and kisses and those few words that can send you off to school feeling special. Prehaps I was an ugly smelly kid that no one wanted to hug and kiss? :-) Seriously though what I can do and think about is the right choice of words to use as support for those around me and not just when they're down or in trouble but everyday stuff. That gently soaks in and makes them feel valued and worthy. I can't rewrite history but maybe cooking good food is almost the same as eating good food. Lastly the S words. It could of been any letter but then the title of todays musings won't of sounded (another S lol) so good.

Here are a few positive words to end on, so take your pick. Special, sassy, strong, sweet, sensitive,smart, sensible, super, sweet, sincere, shrewed, skillful, smiling, successful, splendid, self assured, stimulating and sexy.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happyness :-)

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