Saturday, 24 December 2011

Spanners Christmas Tale.

It twas the day before Christmas and all was not happy in the kingdom of Fuldova. For the Prince of Fuldova did not have a Princess and there was much sadness and gloom in the Kingdom. For with no Princess there were no little Princes and Princesses and as Fuldova's main income was tourism. The coffers were almost bare.

So the Courtiers hit on an idea. One they hoped would put pay to "ye olde recession" and guarantee jobs for life and fat pensions. They posted proclamations up and down the land which proclaimed,

"The Royal household of Fuldova will grant any wish to any subject of Fuldova who manages to find the answer as to why his Royal Princeliness is single, on his own, a billy no mates. If you would like to enter this competition please present yourself at the Palace this evening. Usual terms and conditions apply. Family members of Palace staff cannot enter and strictly only one entry per peasant".

It just so happened the my great, great, great, great, great Grandfather Wrench was pulling his cart home after a hard day of plumbering when he did come upon the proclamation and did take a close look at it. Actually he was looking at the situations vacant proclamations, as work was a bit thin and he came across the other as he read away.
Now Wrench being a man of supreme over-confidence and always looking to get rich quick turned his cart round and headed straight for the Palace. Once there he joined the queue and waited for his turn. As the queue shortened Wrench became aware of a vague smell, a whiff, a pong.That as he got closer became eye watering bad.
Standing at the front of the queue he could contain himself no longer and said to the guard "what be that pong, that ordour that attacks my nostrils?"
"What odour." said the guard. As he pushed Wrench through the door and into the Great Hall. Before him sat the Prince looking bored and fed up. surrounded by his Court.
"Name," came a voice from from the back.
"Wrench, sira," said Wrench trying not to breath in as the smell was now pretty intense.
"And pray, what do you have for the Prince, Master Wrench."
As previously stated Wrench was always looking to make a quick buck and he now knew the source of the pong. It was the Prince!
"Ur I have invented for his Princefullness a machine to make him iresistable to Princesses."
"And what do you call this machine. Master Wrench."
"Tis known as a Drencher, Sira"
The Courtireers huddled together and after a short but nevertheless animated discussion turned back to Wrench.
"Show us this Drencher, Master Wrench."
"Ah that may be a problem," said Wrench, "I'd need to build it for you."
Another quick huddle!
"How long will this takefh, Master Wrench?"
With that Wrench took to shaking his head slowly and drawing in air. "Well about three hours and I'd need something upfront to pay for bits, err cash if you've got it?"
" Here's a bag of grots, you have two hours."
With that the Prince got down from his throne and followed by his court. Wandered out through a side door.



  1. You made me smile this morning. Smiles are sort of a good thing, don't you think?

    Don't forget to post the rest of the story!!

  2. Oooo, I like this story. I am sitting very comfortably waiting for the next bit... :-) P

  3. Smiles are a very good thing. if only you could buy em :-)