Monday, 12 December 2011

Where do I fit?

I enjoyed writing yesterdays post. I like being (trying to be) funny. After making the rounds of other bloggs today I think I'd like to be the "funny poster" within my little group of fellow bloggers. The thoughts will remain the same I'll just try and sweeten it with some humour.
So now you're expecting me to write something funny aren't you. To be fair it was me who brought the subject up. I could just delete this and only I'd know, then that would be a bit of a cop out. So I'll plough on and keep my fingers crossed, makes the typing more difficult but I need all the luck I can get.
I'm able to write today as the vans still sick. So no work. I'm seriously thinking about nicking Mystic Meg's boiler crystals and giving them a go, as the mechanic seems lost for a solution. I should really save this and go downstairs and do what I always do when it breaks down and wash it. It's worked in the past. It works for me too. a quick shower and shave and I feel much better. I wonder why they don't mention it in repair manuals.

Welcome to the Abrams M1 Battle Tank manual. If your tank should brake-down use the bucket and sponge strapped on the back to give the M1 a quick wash. Particular attention should be taken with the wheels. A wire brush (part no M1/75633411) is available as a spare part from your nearest Abrams Battle Tank Dealer. Special care should be taken during battle conditions and the appropriate body armour should be worn at all times. In the event that this doesn't fix the fault the next step would be a short discourse with the crew where finger pointing and blame should be apportioned to whoever happens to be the lowest ranked operative.

In fact maybe all self help manuals should start that way?

Feeling low and despondent? Well go and have a dump and a nice warm shower. Then come back and read chapter 2.

Nuclear Reactor getting a bit warm? have you washed it lately?

Fortunately for you,John the Mechanic has just called. So I'll stop with the manual thread. He's coming to take the van away this evening. I think this means that he wants to pull things off and generally beat it with a large hammer. Actions that will be most inappropriate on the drive of my friends house. It also means he can bump the charge up as he'll tell me they've changed the "whatsittransducercoupling" inside the engine which is very expensive and it was an absolute pig to change. But a dull red rusting Vito in front of my house and ready to take me out and about, would be worth it.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happyness :-)


  1. You did make me giggle, Spanner. :-) P

  2. Thank you Pixie, you are my favourite member by far.

  3. I thought I was your favourite - just kidding. Sometimes I put off a shower just because I know that the yuckier I feel before the shower the better I will feel after. I like the part about pointing fingers and blaming the lowest ranked operative. That's why Max always gets blamed for the funny smells in the house. Cheers.

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  5. You're my most favourite now Jo :-)))