I didn't go to bed till almost four last night. I won't try and justify it or explain it. It's lead to a bad start today but I have got some things done and will see what I can rescue from the day. I signed on to a "depression study" managed by a Uni in Australia. There was a questionnaire. Nothing difficult, simple questions but there was a couple about self harm. Which did fill my head when I finnally went to bed. It's the first time I've seriously thought about it and the first time I've admitted it. There were always two reasons why I used to dismiss any thoughts along these lines before. The first being some poor sod will discover you and that will have a life time effect on them and then the effect on my Children, Mum and friends. Last night I didn't give a thought to the first.
So should I be worried. I'm going to reread the blog from the beginning and see what that does to my spirits.
I didn't get very far with the reread but I was surprised how things don't seem to have changed that much. I'm sort of trapped in my own "ground hog day"
I'm off to bed more misery tomorrow. Onwards and upwards :~)