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Friday 15 July 2011

463+7. "Self Worth".

The last day of my "positives only" first week. It was the worst week to start but with time, may prove to have been the best week to start.

I'm pretty much at the bottom. The feeling is a bit like the one you have as you're driving along with the fuel light on red and there isn't a garage in sight. My next line (which has probably been my mantra all my adult life) would of begun "with a bit of luck". Well it isn't going to be that anymore. There is still a danger I might grind to a halt in a few days metaphorically speaking but if I do? Well I'm just going to deal with it. My new unofficial mantra shall be "he who fails to plan, plans to fail"

I didn't get to the gym last night I got home around 8 and after having something to eat it was too late and I was tired. I did go this morning though and there's the positive to focus on not the negative of last nights broken promise. This is also where the title of today's blog comes into play. I've been doing a little web reading on self worth and it's going to require a bit more before I can really get to grips with it. However the one change I have made is my "walk tall" edict. I'm a tall bloke but I walk along with my head down and shoulders hunched and a miserable face. So there you have the outward sign of my lack of any self worth. Walking tall means head and chest up and what passes for a smile (it's kind of a cross between a smile and sucking a lemon). I'm also trying to fill the pavement with me, my presence. That may sound a little daft but it's having a strangely positive effect on me. I've yet to bring traffic to a halt but you'll be the first to know if I manage that feat lol.

Onwards and upwards in the pursuit of happyness :-)

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